


Goodbye Ellie

by LenoraLana



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F, J.J. - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenoraLana/pseuds/LenoraLana
Summary: Ellie has made her decision to go after Abby instead of staying on the farm with her family. Dina makes the tough decision to leave, and figure out what she will do next.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Maria/Tommy (The Last of Us)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

Dawnlight had barely begun to paint the clouds crimson outside, quickly followed by golden rays that poked their way through the same clouds. It made them appear less dark or red, and more like a heavenly glow of light orange and bright gold with a little touch of pink.

Dina’s eyelids flickered as a bright, golden beam of light shone through the window, alerting her to the fact that it was morning. She could no longer deny reality or let herself think this was just a dream, especially as she rolled over and let her arm flop over the empty space on the bed next to her.

She had put J.J. back in his crib to spend the rest of the night there, after Ellie had walked out. It was the first night since the little boy’s birth that the three of them had been apart. Both biological mother and child had literally cried themselves to sleep.

Fingers tightened around the bedsheets and pulled slightly as she gave into the anguish that her wife was gone. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to rise, knowing she had a lot to do today.

Not only would she have to take care of the baby’s needs first, but she would have a lot of work to do today. She would have to do everything that had normally been divided between two people, not to mention the preparations to move.

She had meant what she said, after all. Ellie had been given an ultimatum, and she had done nothing but prove her need for vengeance was more important than the family and the farm. 

Dina cursed Tommy for coming at all. Maybe if he hadn’t come around with that news, she and Ellie could have worked through this. Dina had continuously hoped that one day Ellie would stop having nightmares and that the vivid, traumatic flashbacks would stop happening at the slightest trigger. 

In her own way, Dina had to admit to herself that she hated Tommy, for now at least. He ruined his own relationship due to his inability to get revenge on that Abby… for killing Joel and later Jesse, for shooting him and causing him to remain crippled for life…

Dina could get it, in a way. Ellie felt guilty, for failing to avenge Joel and for failing to keep her word to Tommy. In turn, Tommy probably felt a strong sense of guilt and personal failure too. But did he have to stoop so low as to manipulate Ellie into doing what he wanted, just because he was in no shape to go off and try again himself? He  _ knew _ that she would end up taking off like this!

Tommy had already ruined his own relationship with Maria thanks to his inability to let this go. Why did he have to come around and destroy Dina and Ellie’s relationship with that information and the guilt trip episode, too?

The next hour went by in a blur as she let the sheep out of the barn to graze and frolick in the grass, attended to J.J.’s early morning needs, then placed him in a high chair while she cooked herself a small breakfast in the kitchen. After she had eaten a simple meal of scrambled eggs, noting how tasteless it seemed without her wife there to enjoy it with her, she gathered up the dishes and went to start washing them as part of her normal morning routine.

Only… this wasn’t a normal morning. She found herself staring blankly at the sink as it began to fill with hot water, remembering how different the previous morning had been. Ellie turning on the music and momentarily distracting her by dancing alongside her…

Dina shut off the water and moved into the other room to turn on the same music that Ellie had playing the previous morning. She tried to focus solely on the memory, to image Ellie happy and smiling, holding J.J. and her shooing them away so she could finish the household chores…

It fell flat. The music might as well have been the sounds of the tractor engine. Dina shut it off, feeling empty.

J.J. began to whimper, as though sensing his mother’s mood. Dina moved closed and gently scooped him up, shushing him. “I know, I miss your other Mom, too.” Dina rocked him and stroked his cheek tenderly, still marveling at how much the little guy took after Jesse. If only he’d had the chance to see his son, if only Abby hadn’t killed him…

No, she couldn’t go down that road. She hadn’t allowed herself to do that so far and she wouldn’t now. There had already been too much death and, if Tommy and Ellie wanted to destroy themselves over their hatred over the loss of Joel… so be it.

“I will never leave you,” Dina vowed to her child. She was all that J.J. had left, and her son was all that she had left in turn. 

She put J.J. back in the highchair and gave him his pacifier and favorite toy to keep him occupied for a few minutes. She then packed a lunch and put it in a carry bag that she slung over her shoulder, then she gathered up her kid.

It would be quite a journey to get back to Jackson on foot, especially since it took a little while just to get out here even on horseback. It was one of the reasons Dina had originally wanted to live here, she had hoped that being away from Jackson and all of those people would help Ellie recover from the horror and trauma.

Apparently it hadn’t worked. One visit from Tommy, and it had all unraveled anyway. But Dina couldn’t exactly deny visitors, especially people who were as close as family, could she? Besides… Ellie was a grown woman who could make her own choices.

Unfortunately, she had made it.

Dina simply knew now that if she was going to move--and she was  _ definitely _ going to, without question--she would need help. This location was fairly remote and she just couldn’t move everything without help. 

She would leave everything that belonged to Ellie behind, but she would take the sheep, the dishes, all of J.J.’s things, and all of her own stuff. If Ellie survived her venture and if she returned… she would at least have her own belongings to return to.

Dina had already begun to mourn her. She would not sit around wondering if Ellie was still alive or worrying about her. If she didn’t have a child to look after, she might have gone after her by now… she might have gone with her in the first place. But J.J. was more important, and she would not risk leaving the baby without her mother.

The dream of raising the baby with Ellie had been shattered.  _ You are dead to me now, Ellie… _ There was a small part of Dina’s heart that didn’t truly mean that. But what about the dreams the two of them had discussed? Ellie wanted to pass down what she could of Joel’s legacy to J.J., to teach him everything he’d taught her… including how to play the guitar.

That would never happen, now. J.J. would grow, and possibly not even have anything to remember his other mother by.

Dina did her best to push those thoughts aside as she secured her grip on the bag and hefted her son gently, preparing for the long hike ahead. She had packed enough food and water to sustain both of them for what was going to be a very long hike. At least they wouldn’t have any Infected to worry about, not out this far anyway. But there would be the potential threat of random strangers who might choose to attack for a morsel of food or… something else.

She double-checked the pistol on her belt, making certain it was loaded. She really hoped she wouldn’t need it on the way back to Jackson, but it was best to be prepared.

She just had to make it to Jackson, to speak to Maria… and they could probably work something else. If they could spare a few horses to pack the belongings onto, and herd the sheep back to Jackson, Dina would be moving back there.

Taking a deep breath, Dina headed out to begin her trek with her head held high and her mouth pressed into a thin, grim line. 

_ Goodbye, Ellie… _

_ A/N: I’m not sure if I’ll continue this or not, but it was fun. _


	2. Chapter 2

Dina’s spirits lifted somewhat when she finally got back to Jackson. It felt good to be back, to return to the place that had been home for a long time… where she had not only grown up, but had first met Jesse and Ellie.

Perhaps in the long run, returning here might have been the best thing anyway. There was safety in numbers and Jackson was a lot more secure and well-guarded than the remote yet overly-exposed farm. For the sake of J.J., it may have been better to get back to a place where Infected would have less of a chance to attack or destroy what they had built.

Dina had to remind herself that Ellie was immune, at least. It would give her more of a chance to survive out there than any other person Dina had known, but there was no immunity against bullets or other kinds of weapons. The enemy that Ellie so desperately sought was not an Infected being…

“No,” Dina murmured so softly to herself that even she could barely hear her own voice. “Ellie  _ is _ infected… with hate, ever since Joel was killed.” Was there truly any cure for hate or the lust for revenge? On a deep level, Dina had hoped that their love could have been a cure. It should have been enough to take the place of hate and revenge, if only Ellie could have tried harder to  _ let _ it.

Dina wasn’t going to kick herself or say she didn’t try hard enough, though. She  _ did. _ They had the closest thing to perfect they were going to get on the farm and Ellie was the one who decided to throw it all away.

As she moved deeper and deeper into the city, away from the gate and its watchers, she soon found herself seeing more and more familiar faces. She greeted them as warmly as she could, but she just wanted to keep moving. She had to get J.J. in out of the cold for a while and she needed to replenish her supplies, she had used up everything during the trek to get here.

She soon spotted none other than Maria, who still appeared quite strong and healthy, moving with the agility of a woman half her age and bearing herself with a confident blend of motherly and matriarchal qualities. The moment she spotted Dina with the young child in her arms, she immediately gave the younger woman a strong, warm embrace and offered to hold her adopted nephew for a while.

Dina whispered her thanks, grateful to be invited indoors to sit down. The three of them were soon seated around a warm fire, sipping water and eating sandwiches while Maria tended to J.J..

Once the child had been put to rest comfortable in the spare room, Maria and Dina began to talk.

After Dina laid everything out on the table that had happened, Maria sighed and shook her head. “That asshole,” Maria growled. “I should’ve known he would pull this shit.”

Dina regarded the older woman for a long moment. She began to realize that the reason why Maria herself hadn’t come to visit was because she was trying to respect the young couple’s personal space and wishes to distance themselves from everyone. Perhaps it was even a big part of the reason why they rarely received visitors to begin with… Maria had a lot of influence in this town and she no doubt prevented it, especially if she had any say in it.

“Tommy said that you guys both decided to separate for a while,” Dina gently nudged.

“Yeah,” Maria took a deep drink from a bottle, having switched from water. She offered to pour her companion a glass, but Dina politely declined just in case she chose to breastfeed her son later. “I kept trying to help Tommy forget about what happened to Joel. I did everything I could to distract him from it or find things for us to do together that would make him happy, but he would always go back to trying to find Abby.”

Dina nodded knowingly. “For a while, Ellie seemed to forget about Abby after we started our life on the farm. She would just keep having these dreams and flashbacks about Joel, and I would try to keep telling her to remember she was on the farm and we had a good life. I tried to help her stay in the present.”

“But one visit from my idiot husband,” Maria finished for her, “and she decides the only way to stop the nightmares is to go after Abby… again.”

Dina felt her throat constrict, barely managing a nod. Her voice had shut down.

Maria tipped her head back with the bottle and finished downing the contents. A small part of her knew that she was going to regret this later, but this was one of those times where she needed the heavy stuff to dull her inside. Otherwise she would have been much closer to being livid… possibly to the point of throwing Tommy’s favorite rifle through the window.

Besides… they didn’t want to disturb or distress J.J. too much. This was going to be a period of adjustment for him, too.

“The next time I see Tommy,” Maria growled in a slurring way, “I’m gonna hit the good side of his face so hard it’ll match where he was shot.” She threw the empty bottle in the nearest corner where it crashed and shattered loudly. J.J. stirred enough in the other room to gurgle and coo a tad, but thankfully didn’t seem too bothered by the loud noise.

“It wasn’t just him,” Dina pointed out. “Ellie made her own decision.”

“But my fool husband left to push her to do what he couldn’t do himself,” Maria snapped. “I should never have kicked him out.”

Dina’s brow furrowed in puzzlement. “I thought he said you both agreed--”

“Yeah, well, I told him that if he wasn’t gonna fucking give up on chasing Abby one way or another, to get out. I should’ve known he would take off and go to Ellie. What I should’ve done was throw his sorry ass in one of the cells for a night with only bread and water.”

“Maria.” Dina put her arms around the older woman, comforting her. Both of them knew that she didn’t mean a damn word she was saying, the liquor had removed any filter for the flood of bottled up emotions she’d had inside for a long time. “You can’t keep someone locked up if they choose not to stay, even if they want to do something fucking shitty or go chasing after something. Sometimes you just have to let them make their own decision, and if they choose to go… you let them go. Just make sure they know what the consequences are.”

Maria inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as a fresh pair of tears streamed down her cheeks. She relaxed slightly as Dina continued to hold her, resting a head against her shoulder. Both of them needed this right now, both of them knew exactly what it felt like to have a spouse replace the love in their heart with the poison of vengeance and hate. 

“Well,” Maria finally said at one point, “at least I know my asshole will be back eventually. He can’t go that far nowadays and he knows it. But there’s no telling what shape Ellie will be in when she returns.”

“ _ If _ she returns,” Dina said bitterly.

“You sure you don’t want any of the good stuff? I got another bottle back there somewhere.”

“No, it’s not good for the baby.”

“Then I’ll have some.”

Dina put a hand on Maria’s wrist as the older woman reached for the cabinet. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

“Right now? Not nearly.” Maria brushed the younger woman’s hand aside like an annoying fly and reached for it again.

“How many have you had already?” Dina asked. “Were you drinking before I came?”

“A little.”

“Define ‘a little’.”

“I don’t fucking need you to watch over me or lecture me for my drinking habits, Dina! You don’t have to have any if you don’t want it, but don’t get in my way.” Maria snatched another bottle out of the cabinet and returned to her favorite chair.

Dina slowly sank down in the seat across from her, frowning. “Have you been drinking like this ever since he left?”

“Yeah.” Maria tilted her head back and seemed to gulp down a quarter of the bottle in one take. Since when had Maria of all people become able to drink like a fish? 

There had to be more going on here. “Maria, is everything okay here in Jackson? What’s going on?”

Maria leaned forward, letting out a heavy sigh. Whatever front she had successfully put on in public when Dina had first arrived had completely vanished, revealing nothing but an older woman with a drinking problem… possibly a bit broken up inside, too. “Our settlement was attacked about a week ago by a small horde of Infected, we’re not even sure where they came from. We think they had a nesting ground somewhere near here that we overlooked, or maybe there were a few people hiding out who became infected. They stormed the gates and some of them managed to get inside… they killed half of our horses and tore twelve people apart, infecting at least twice as many others.”

“My God…” Dina breathed, suddenly wondering if this place would be truly safe for herself and her son after all. But there was no place truly safe in the world, you just had to do the best you could to protect yourself and those around you. 

“We fixed the damage the best we could and burned the bodies, after putting our infected friends out of their misery,” Maria went on bitterly. She took another great big drink from the bottle and belched in an un-ladylike way. “Tommy got really angry after it happened. He felt so helpless because he couldn’t fight, and I made him stay behind a barred door with the children and elderly.”

Dina was beginning to see the fuller picture now. That was what triggered Tommy into action. His very home settlement, the only place where he had originally felt safer than anywhere else, had been violated in the worst way possible. Now the only thing he had left, so he felt, was an unfulfilled desire for vengeance… he thought it would bring him peace if only he could get it, even if he had to get it through someone else.

Would Ellie have still left if she’d known what had happened here? Could she have been persuaded to come here instead? It would have still meant a move from their peaceful and happy farm, but at least they would still be together. 

“Tommy doesn’t even realize what he’s given up,” Dina finally said, giving the older woman a meaningful look.

Maria nodded, her pupils dilated. She did the best she could to look at Dina directly, though she couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “Ellie doesn’t realize what she’s given up either.”

After a long moment of silence, during which Maria finished downing the rest of the bottle, the older woman finally asked, “So… what you plan to do now?”

“I would like to move everything here. It sounds like you guys could use some more supplies anyway, and you can have our sheep,” Dina said.

“S-sure,” Maria slurred. “You can t-take whatever h-horses and p-people you n-need to help y-you move here. Just t-take…” 

With that, Maria slumped over in her chair, unconscious.

Dina gently hefted the woman and half-dragged, half-carried her to her room and deposited her in the bed she once shared with Tommy to sleep it off. The woman was going to have one hell of a hangover when she came too, but there wasn’t much Dina could do about that for now.


End file.
